Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Who am I?

Lately I have been questioning my own self a lot. Not in a negative way, but truly asking myself who I am, what do I stand for, how do others see me, how do I see me and most importantly how does my Heavenly Father see me? Through this time of thought I have been privileged to be inspired by wonderful people who talk on this subject.  Two weeks in a row I feel like devotional has been about who we are, who we were and and who we are meant to be. Also I am reading a book called No Doubt About It by Sheri Dew and the book talks about the divine nature of people, well more specifically women.
Something I read really got me thinking tonight. In the book (I am to lazy to go get it so this is majorly paraphrased) it says that each face we look on is no mere mortal, each of us is a god and goddess, we are of noble birth, and have a divinity. No matter how insignificant any person seems to be, they are a child of God, they have the potential to be like him. This struck me, because I easily see others being gods and goddesses, but I don't see that in myself. Yet there was no sentence saying everyone except someone who has made the mistakes you have and that has the weakness you have can be a god. No not even close to that, it says everyone. I guess I am included in that.
Also in this book it talks about how when we were living in heaven with our Father we knew what we were getting into coming here. We fought by the side of Christ and chose this path. And then we were sent here in this time when the world seems to be falling apart (probably because it is) because we were noble, courageous and strong enough to face this time. We have the ability to overcome the obstacles that are present in this day, in this time. Just stop and think about that. We were not sent here because they needed to send just anyone to fill space, we aren't here by mere accident. We were chosen for this time. This is when we are NEEDED. Who we were in the pre-mortal existence was of significance. Our Father saw us as the strongest of his children, he knew we could handle it. How nice it would be to remember that daily, even better would be to be able to remember the strength we had then. And we can in ways, we can let the Spirit guide us and show us our strengths. We just have to be willing to do that.
One more thing that this book made mention of was that Joseph Smith asked to see himself as God sees him. And I just can't help but wonder what I would see if I could see myself the way God does. I imagine I would be less critical of myself and would see the good I am but recognize my weaknesses as places for growth. Also would I be able to better understand who he wants me to be if I could see myself a he does? I guess the best I can do there is pray to have his guidance as I progress so that I can be the person he needs me to be.
I have come to realize lately that no matter what I think I am, I am undoubtedly my Heavenly Fathers child, and I have a purpose on this earth. It's about time I start working harder to be the me I can be and learn to accept that I have worth.
So who am I? Well here is a short list I have so far: I am a woman of God who understands my role on this earth is to uplift and encourage people to foster their growth and my own. I am someone who has high standards for herself and is not willing to sacrifice them for any reason, for as long as my standards are those which my Father would have me have he will bless me with opportunities for happiness that suite my standards. I am someone who has made mistakes, has had my heart broken, and has felt defeated at times, but I am not those things, I am someone who survived those things and became stronger for doing so. I am someone who has the ability to comfort others, and love them through the hard times.  I am most importantly not perfect. But I am someone working hard to be, and who knows that it won't happen soon and that it won't be easy, but who will push on anyways. And I am strong and brave, though my daily battles may seem pathetic to others (and even to myself at times) I know that they are mine. The things that scare me may be silly but if I keep facing my fears and doing my best to step outside my comfort zone I will become even stronger than I ever thought I could be. I AM A WORK IN PROGRESS! But who I am going to be is great, and I won't settle for less than I have the potential to be.

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